The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “schmooze” as follows: “to converse informally; chat; also to chat in a friendly and persuasive manner especially so as to gain favor, business or connections.” I must confess that I am a schmoozer but more in line with Leo Rosten’s definition in “The Joys of Yiddish” to have a “friendly talk” with no thought of gain.
There are variations to the schmooze. There is the long schmooze, which together with a prefatory “wind-up,” usually results in a lengthy, time consuming conversation. There is also the short schmooze which I believe is a true art form, enabling one to make a brief, meaningful yet superficial connection without consuming gobs of time. Schmoozees are most appreciative of this technique, because it offers a quick personal connection without impeding one’s daily tasks.
Take this morning, for example, when I brought some shirts to the cleaner. John Bacon is the proprietor of Chevy Chase Valet. He is well-read, opinionated, curious, and fluent in Spanish, having spent his formative years in Ecuador - a perfect schmooze companion. However, there are limitations. John has work to do and other customers who must be attended to, and his store is surrounded by parking meters attended by the very aggressive Bethesda Meter Police. A quarter gets me fifteen minutes, which is just enough time for a short schmooze even with another customer in front of me.
So I greeted John in Spanish and we exchanged a few sentences as I handed him my shirts. We paid a quick visit to the Persian Gulf to discuss the possibilities of future conflict while I reminded him in Spanish that I did want my shirts “en una bolsa.” We pivoted to the Republican primaries, which led to a brief exchange about the future of the Washington Post. As I left the premises I reminded John, “no starch.”
All this for $.25.
In this NoVA/DC area, it has been my experience that making a personal connection is rare, even avoided. Although I am more often guilty of avoiding it than not, my occasional attempts to schmooze are not often fruitful. That could be my lack of schmooze-skill or it could be the 19-year old barrista has already heard "I'd like a Tall Blonde and a cup of coffee" joke one too many times.
ReplyDeleteThis would have definitely cost me $50 and would not have been half as rewarding. Perhaps a You-tube series on the art of schmooze is in your future?